a picture is worth a thousand words

Be Kinder Than Necessary

I was looking at quotes and came across

"Be Kinder than necessary, for everyone we meet is fighting some kind of battle."

This quote really made me sit back and think about how I present myself to people during the day. I often wonder if the person they see is the person I really am or if they just assume I am a certain type of person just because of how I come across to them. I understand that first impressions count but what about last expressions. Do you ever really get a chance to go back and change that?

The other thing about this quote that had me thinking was that even with people we know, is it really that difficult to try, understand where they are coming from. To just give that other person the space and understanding they need because they really could be fighting a battle you know nothing of. I think that often it is to easy to make assumptions based on choices you would make rather than waiting it out to see how the cards fall.

I suppose the only way to really understand this quote is to give it a try. Just give everyone the benefit of the doubt and trust them with out them having to ask you. It is always easy to run someone down but how long does it take to help build them up again.

I dont know just some thoughts I had...

I have FOUND myself

Many people say I have changed, but the truth is I have just FOUND myself. Since I have become a mother the way I see things and they way I react to things is completely different. I have always been the girl who let people walk all over her. The girl who was so naive. The girl who didn't have a care in the world. Just was out to have fun and live life. But, I truly feel that I am actually LIVING life now. I'm really not all that complex. I wish that people would try not to read me. And let me open myself up to them at my own will. I'm proud of who I am and where I come from. I feel if someone can't accept that, or deal then to move along. I have no room for pessimistic people in my life. I try to stay optimistic, even through the up most shittiest of times. I always look at the positive side of things. I feel every negative will turn out positive one fine day. I've loved, lost, cried, and hurt; all of which have made me a stronger individual and quite possibly molded a bit of a bitch in my veins, but I'm grateful for every experience I've encountered along my passage in life. I love my life. I don't sugar coat anything, I wouldn't want that done to me. If I like you, I'll tell you. If you hurt me, prepare to be shut out. I've made mistakes in my life. I've let people take advantage of me, and excepted way less than i deserve. But, I've learned from my bad choices and even though there are some things I can never get back and people who will never be sorry, I'll know better next time and I wont settle for anything less than i deserve. You will always hear those infamous words, 'you'll never meet anyone like me', but I guarantee not everyone holds true to those words. I want the truth that hurts over the lies that lose my respect. I do not have time for petty bullshit.

I adore my friends and my family, they mean the world to me. I've got a great family! They never judge me and have truly blessed me with the life I live. I found over time that it truly is a gift to find 'REAL' friends whom you can trust, confide in and rely on. Those amazing once in a life time friends.I would rather have a handful of the good ones, then a ton of the fake ones, or the ones that will leave, or the ones that use. I feel that I am GROWING UP. Growing past all the dumb issues. The things in life that do not matter. I learned fast who I could trust and who I shouldn't. I have learned that when it comes to work you need to keep personal out and business business business. Everything will be OK... that's my new motto. No matter how hard times will get or have gotten they will end up OK in the end. I see myself as that type of person that will do anything to get a smile out of you. I have always tired to make everyone happy, even if it meant that I wouldn't be. I have learned that you cant do that or people will walk all over you. I had to learn the hard way. I am trying my best at being a mom, and I think I am doing a pretty damn good job at it! It just all fell together and life couldn't be better. I have become a better person. I am stronger and wiser. I am a mom. I am a girlfriend. I am a friend and a daughter. I feel I am more me than I have ever been.

Mommy Bee, that's me, that's my life. Some people have said that being a mom, having a family, and boyfriend is controlling my life. I find that ridiculous... and when you have a family your life will change and for the better and you will understand what being a mom is all about.

happiness

I only need her to make me smile. She comes to me with wings in hand. I know this means for me to put them on her. Its so cute. She would sleep with them on if I would let her. I needed this last night. That non stop SMILE on my face. We watched the Hills, Gossip Girl, and One Tree Hill together. Such mommy daughter bonding. Lol. The whole time with her puppy in one hand, my hand in the other, and wings on her back. Daddy came in and couldn't stop smiling at his ladies kicking back watching the girlie shows and cuddling.

Eventful Weekend for Us

I wish the weekends were longer... they fly by and back to work. =/

Friday night I made Oatmeal Raisin cookies for the first time. I was text messaging Trisha while making them and I made them Ginormous! So while they were baking they all baked together!

=( I was sad at first, but Trisha's "No drink, bitch" story and the fact that they were oh so yummy made up for it. =)

Saturday was a fun, interesting, and an eventful day. My aunt came down from San Gabrielle and we had lunch at Ryan's work with my grandparents and cousin. Then we went to yummy DQ! Maddison loved all the ice creams. I didn't give her much because I want Saturday to be her first REAL sweet all by herself! After all of that I went home and waited for Ryan. It was my friends birthday. We had planned to have people over for her, but it ended up not happening. Family issues arose, So we rescheduled. We ended up heading out to Ryan's brothers house. That was fun, hanging out with the fambam after all was settled =).

Sunday, we took Maddison to get her ears pierced. At first she was interested in what the girl was doing. She was watching her every move. The girl cleaned her ears and started to dot them and Maddison started to get upset. Just the dots she was screaming her head off. I felt so bad since I was holding her I could feel her heart beating so fast. We did both and I gave her some juice and she was fine. They look so adorable on her. She hasn't been playing with her ears much, which I am glad. If you say "Pretty" she touches them. =) Smarty Pants. My little girl is growing up.

After we got them done we took Daddy back home to watch the Broncos game. My mom and I went and got all the final touches for her birthday party this Saturday. I am really excited for Saturday. All of our family and friends together for her special day.

I know she knows something exciting is coming... she is practicing her dance moves and batting her eyes. Like mommy? lol

My Baby Girl

I find myself taking pictures of Maddison like crazy. I have to capture every cute thing she does! The Joys of Mommy Hood!
We were recently at Ryan's dads house and she was crawling over all the couches trying to get to their beers. lol. I thought this was such a cute picture. Her little overalls. She can not stay still right now... she has to be everywhere.
I remember when she was a baby and I wanted her to crawl and walk soooo bad. Now, Iam thinking differently. Lol. I miss my baby girl, all tiny, and just wanting to be held. =)
Now, she is my little monster. I love it though. I like chasing her and when I say "No, No, Mama" she waves her pointer finger in the air. Its so cute.
Time flies when your having fun... thats for sure!
She will be One on the 26th and planning her party has been very emotional. I cant imagine her actual birthday! I am going to be a mess!
But, Iam glad that Iam not the only one that feels this way or has been through this... so Iam not alone! And I dont feel like Im such a sap! lol
I just thought I would write to show off the cute picture.
=)

My thoughts of Today

Days come and go. I find myself cherishing the few days that I have away from work. I like that I have two WHOLE days with my daughter. I don't want to miss a thing she does... and while I am here at work I could be missing those priceless "First Times."
She is growing up so fast. I feel that she was just growing inside of me and now she is going to be One. Where has the time gone?
Last night I was awaken by the sounds of my daughters scared cry. Night Mare? I wasn't sure what was wrong. I was holding her so tight letting her know everything would be OK. She laid there crying as if nothing would be OK. Tears rolling down her face. I know she is becoming more aware of things as she gets older and she doesn't know what certain sounds are or things are. She was scared and needed mommy and daddy.
Its crazy... you will do anything for your kid. She can't live without me. They are such helpless little beings. We are EVERYTHING to them. I don't just have a kid, I have someones life in my hands, yet ironically, my life lays in hers.
I am sorry I am just rambling on and on. I am not too sure what to "blog" about. All my thoughts right now are running around in my head. I can't focus on one topic.
Life as "I" know it is a complete roller coaster.... will it ever be smooth sailing? I honestly dont think so. I find when life gets hard it only gets harder before it gets better. I am very thankful for my family and my friends. With out them I wouldn't be where Iam at today... as a mom, a daughter, a girlfriend, a friend... Its crazy to think that all of our failures, accomplishments, tears, laughs.... they mold us. They make us stronger... sometimes weaken us. I wish at times I was stronger when it came to certain issues and weaker in others. But, that is where I as an individual have to learn to overcome those issues.
And boy... is that hard. Im such an emotional person... more now that Iam a mother then ever before. As a mom you have someones life in your hands... your own comes second. Well in my eyes that is how it is. She is first... and always will be.
I think for now I will leave with these thoughts... I should probably work.. lol.